On Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 6:51 and 6:52 a.m. respectively, Robert Edward and John Andrew entered the World. They are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the two most adorable baby boys ever unleashed. I leave it to you, dear reader, to decide which one is the most adorable and which comes in a close second in human history. Votes welcome in the comments.
The past week (I can't believe a quarter of my paternity leave is almost gone) has been insane. A planned induction failed to induce, resulting in delivery by C-Section. Since then, my wife and I have felt overwhelming joy, fear, excitement, and stress. Indeed, I can only take the few moments to write this all-too-brief post thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law, who kicked me out of the hospital the night before discharge to try to fix my back up after 4 days on a hospital couch. Well, that and I get to launder the baby clothes left for us by my own wonderful mother.
I do not now have time to describe everything that has happened in the last 5 days. Hopefully, I will have time to go into more detail later on. I will mention a few things, however, all of which center around the very theme of this blog: twins present an entirely different experience. All of these items probably apply to one baby, but now imagine them with two or more. Parents of twins, I believe, share a special bond. They have been through a unique experience that no one else can truly understand. With that central theme in mind, I offer a few quick observations in simple list form, largely in chronological order:
1. With twins they say you have a 50/50 shot at a C-section right off the top. By all means, try to have a vaginal delivery if you can. That said, it is important to know when to allow modern medicine to help you, and to know what comes with C-Section recovery.
2. Men, sitting at the head of the operating table with your wife during a C-Section is the most helpless and powerless you will ever feel. All you can do is try to talk to her and keep her calm -- even when you can't find any words. The two biggest things to know, in my opinion, are that your wife may feel like she is not breathing, even if she is, so you need to be ready to address that feeling, and that her blood pressure really will drop as low as 50 over 100, and that is okay.
3. Babies do not cry as much upon birth after a C-Section as you might think.
4. Babies sleep. A lot. At least on Day 1.
5. Days 2 and 3 can be sources of both joy and terror. Based on my experience, I can offer this piece of advice to limit the amount of terror -- when breastfeeding (especially) with twins, formula supplementation is your friend until your wife's milk comes in. The babies need food, and most women will not have enough colostrum to go around. It's just the way it is. Nature is cruel. Even our one child who took to the breast feeding well had blood sugar and weight loss issues until we were advised to supplement the colostrum he was getting from breast feeding with some formula. We hope to stop using the formula when my wife's milk comes in, but in the meantime a healthy, full baby makes everyone happier . . . especially the baby.
6. Babies can smell stress and fear. Try to relax.
7. What everyone tells you is true. Your baby will randomly pee right in your face while you change him if you do not protect yourself. The most amazing thing, you will be more concerned for the baby than for your face.
8. Seek help when you need it. Please. Particularly if you are trying to breast feed and a lactation consultant is available.
9. Seriously, try to get some sleep. The first night my wife and I kept the children all night after keeping them all day. We got almost no sleep. To be honest, I do not even remember it now. I know I changed diapers, but I have no recollection of doing so. Assuming that your hospital has a nursery available, send the babies there overnight and have them brought to you for feedings only. You will have enough sleepless nights. While the man will end up getting more sleep due to his lack of breasts, this is actually more for the mother. Even a new mother full of hormones needs as must rest as she can squeeze into her day.
9a. Even if you use the nursery, sleep as you have known it, in the quantities that you have known it, is over. At least for a few years.
10. One more for just the men. Guys, women are ridiculously unbelievable. Or maybe it is just my wife. For your sakes, I hope it is not.
So, some of that was serious. I guess I should leave you with a happy-smiley parting shot:
