Friday, July 31, 2009

Complication of Multiples Dodged

Whew. After a positive test for gestational diabetes on a preliminary screening, my wife came up negative on the authoritative test. Gestational diabetes is a fairly common complication in multiple pregnancies, so I must admit that I was concerned. Bullet dodged.

This also means that my boys being in the 70th percentile in size is not a symptom, but a sign that they will be super-human hockey babies!

I have been kind of preoccupied lately with an odd thought. Being that there will be two babies, do we need to track how much time each of us spends holding/caring for/playing with each child? I mean, I don't want one baby to develop a stronger attachment to mommy and the other a stronger attachment to me. This is of special concern to me given that I will only have a month of paternity leave to build a strong foundation with each baby before I have to go back to work and barely see them. Will random chance keep the time we spend with each baby at about 50/50, or do we have to track this stuff . . . along with tracking the consistency of their poops?

Two months to go. It's a brave new world.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

About two months out . . .

Well, we are a little over two months away from the due date. My wife got tested for gestational diabetes last week and we have not heard anything, which is good news. I hope we can avoid that bump in the road, though the fact that she was not placed on any restrictions while the results were pending indicate to me that the doctor was not too worried.

I have to admit, work is getting harder now. It is harder to get up for it, harder to focus, and, while I have never been someone who relishes spending long hours in the office, it is getting harder to keep up the level of quantitative output I have been putting out for the last six months. Anybody have any tips?

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Memorable Moment #3: Insanity

Memorable Moment #3 leading up to week 29 1/2 (see previous posts) is more of a culmination of a lot of smaller moments. As you may have heard, pregnancy will mess with your wife. While my wife has been wonderful throughout pregnancy, even the best woman is only human.

Every once in a while, the effects of pregnancy will test even the most patient man's nerves. In the wake of one such encounter, I had the following text conversation with a friend of mine who recently became a father. I think it about sums it up . . .


Me: Okay, so speaking as someone who has been through this Dad thing, how long can I expect my wife to be insane?
My friend: I'll let you know when it stops...

Memorable Moment #2: There's Two of Them?!?

Memorable Moment #2 from the first 29 1/2 weeks (see my previous posts) has to be finding out that we were having twins. As is common, we did not find out from the first sonogram, which only showed Baby A. (No, we have not picked names yet.) Baby B was hiding early on.

I actually missed the first sonogram due to work. Surely, it will not be the first moment of my children's lives that I miss while providing for them. My wife had brought home pictures, though. Strangely enough, despite clearly seeing only one baby, I had asked my wife if it could be twins. She of course responded that this was highly unlikely.

A couple of weeks later, staring at a screen in the doctor's office, I saw this image pop up:





Now I'm no doctor, but even I know two babies when I see them. In case you are wondering what to look for at your first or second sonogram, that is it.

There are certain moments -- and the emotions that came with them -- that every man will remember his whole life: your first love, losing to Mercyhurst 4-2 in the league finals your senior year after out-shooting them 42-20 (not that I still have nightmares about that 10 years later or anything), seeing the planes hit on September 11. Finding out you're having twins is one of those moments.

What was it like for you? I don't think I have ever felt that many things at once. Joy. Fear. Pride. Inadequacy. All mixed together. Driving home, all I could think about was how I could possibly provide for two children when only one had been expected. It suddenly seemed ridiculously arrogant to think that I could even serve as a father to one kid, let alone two. I think my stomach finally settled down a few hours later.

Memorable Moment #1: I'm Pregnant

As I mentioned in my first post, my wife is currently at 29 1/2 weeks. I don't want to try to go back into the pregnancy too much, as at this stage everything is about looking forward to the babies, but there are three moments that merit a post. The first is finding out.

We had been trying passively for 2 or 3 months. I found trying to be somewhat weird and even a little difficult. I mean, not to get too personal or anything, but adding a goal to intimacy can make it a bit -- unnerving. Or is it just me?

Now, I know that getting pregnant can take months, or even years, and that many people would be jealous of success in 2-3 months. That said, it still seemed like a long time. Am I the only one that put it all on me in my head? What am I doing wrong? What is wrong with me?Anyway, a few weeks, my wife -- out of nowhere -- walked into our family room, sat on my lap, and told me that my boys could in fact swim.

How did you feel when you found out that your wife was actually pregnant? I'm curious to hear, as I had a flood of things run through my head. Things like, "Hey, I'm going to be a dad!" "Oh my, you mean I'm actually going to be a dad?" "Are we really having a baby in this economy?" "I hope these kids get their height from my in-laws." Thoughts like these ran through my head in no particular order.

Then there was a part of me that felt guilty. I mean, I was happy, but shouldn't I be happier? Shouldn't I feel more? Maybe it is true what they say, that the babies don't get real for the father until a little later in the pregnancy, or even until birth. Now of course, at this point, we did not know it was twins. I just knew that I was going to be completely responsible for another human being. It's a concept I am still getting used to.

I knew one thing I needed to do, though. And a few days later, I took care of that, old school style:


Go Caps!


What did you think about?

Welcome to The Blog!

Welcome, gentlemen. If you have found this small corner of the Interwebs through your Googles or Yahoos, then it is pretty likely that you are an expectant or recent father -- and quite possibly a father of twins. Congrats.

As I write this first entry, my wife is 29 1/2 weeks pregnant, so it is getting pretty close. We are expecting two boys and are not yet certain whether they are identical or fraternal. I have spent my copious free time over the last 7 months or so poking around books and the Internet looking for information. Although there is more out there about fatherhood than there used to be, there is still a lot less than there is about motherhood, and I have not found much about being a dad of twins. Maybe something on this blog may end helping someone -- or maybe it will be therapeutic for me. If we're really lucky, enough of us will find it that it will become a place to fraternize, share information, and blow off steam. Whether you are a father or an expectant father, and particularly if you have or are expecting twins, please feel free to comment early and often.

As I did not get the idea for this blog until recently, I have missed 29 1/2 weeks of potential posts about the pregnancy. I guess there are three moments that really stand out. I'll touch on them briefly in the next three posts. After that, we shall only look forward.

Welcome, boys. Comment away.